…since each of these phrases is also an action, you could start practicing now without even getting into specifics. In the very next conversation you have, you could let go of trying to control the outcome, devote more attention to what other people say or make an effort to use anything that happens to feed the flow of the conversation—including interruptions, disagreements or misunderstandings that you might normally ignore. A small shift perhaps, but one that, if taken to heart, can create a big difference.
The advantage of this simple practice is that you have less to remember. It relieves the pressure of keeping up with the explosion of new ideas that abound in the management literature (or the self-help books). You can exchange the restless search or a quick fix for the quiet patience of a practice. Whatever happens, you can go back to the same simple, familiar ideas and apply them again. Over time you deepen and internalize your understanding, so that you can bring these ideas to bear quickly and easily, without even thinking about them consciously.”
A longtime believer in the power of practices (as opposed to changing behavior through sheer willpower or “step” systems) and a newcomer to the world of improvisational theater, I nearly cheered aloud when I read this passage from Robert Poynton’s Everything’s An Offer: How To Do More with Less , a book on using improvisational theater in everyday life.
I started to think of my big 3 practices for life in a new light. Less to remember! Bypass information glut! Yay!
My guiding practices are:
Nonviolent communication. (Practicing mostly informally for about 3 years.) It helps me with authentic participation and connection.
Improv. (Practicing for 3 weeks.) It further supports this by helping me practice non-judgment and acceptance (saying yes).
And Vipassana Meditation (practicing for 7 months) forms a solid foundation with perhaps the most general and seriously useful practice of equanimity (seeing things as they are and not blindly reacting).
Do you have practices that you find you keep coming back to?